I know it's been a while, I've been working... a lot (which is great, but tiring) and haven't had much to inspire me until this morning, when I guess I started looking around, like I've been doing for the last couple of days. Every day I'm trying to find something I'm thankful for, a blessing that I've received (and perhaps taken for granted) that I need to recognize and appreciate for what it is. I'm looking for the bright side of life, the silver lining, and the secret of happiness all at once, and I think I might be on to something, because I've been having some great days since I started!
This morning, my blessing was Jocelyn, and how much I absolutely adore being her mother. I realize how special it is to have her in my life, to have her love and her trust, and to have the time I do to spend with her. Though I have never been a morning person, I still find that I smile the most as she and I complete our morning routines and walk into the school together. I love watching her stumble sleepily down the hallway and plop herself down in the recliner, and watching her gradual arrival into full consciousness with a smile... she wakes up so much easier than I ever have. I love getting out of the car and walking her into the school every morning, enjoying those last few minutes before she's gone for the day. In fact, she WANTS me to walk her into school, and not drop her off from a long line of cars like a lot of the parents do (not that there is anything wrong with that), and she likes holding my hand and predicting what her day is going to be like, she loves to give me a kiss in the hall as I let her walk to her room (which I know won't last long for sure), and to turn and wave and blow a kiss right before she disappears down her hallway and we go on to our separate jobs for the day.
This morning, as I looked around, I saw a lot of different reactions to the act of dropping of your kid. I saw the mom waiting in the line of cars, yawning and trying to smile for the kid as she told him it was time to go. I saw the woman dressed like a celebrity, either trying to look like Victoria Beckham or using the giant sunglasses in the completely gray day to hide the fact that she looks nothing like a celebrity.... and I noticed that everyday she wears the same thing, which I realized just this morning as she yelled at her son to "Hustle up!!!" (even though there were 15 minutes before the bell would ring) like she does every day. I saw parents who simply pulled up, waited for their kids to get out, and drive away without even a goodbye exchanged. And then, I saw the happiest parent and child of the morning: the one who was pretending to outrun her son in a race to the doors, her hair flying behind her and laughing in pure joy as her son outran her and won the race. She looked like one happy woman... she looked like I felt this morning... and her son had the most amazing smile, just like the one Jossy gives me when she turns around and waves... and I thought "We must be doing something right!".
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're looking for happiness... if you actively seek it, you will be able to find small bursts of it in every day. Yes, the days will be hard sometimes, there will be stress and responsibility and things you don't like and things that you don't want to deal with, but there are also some really great things that sometimes get overlooked. I'm making it a mission, a goal, to find it everyday... and perhaps you should too, because it is feeling really great! I really do feel very blessed this week, and I'm grateful for it.
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