I've gotten behind on my posting again. As I said once before: Meet Jamie, the procrastinator!
The truth is though, that I haven't been quite sure what to say. It's been a rough time here for me lately, and all of my problems are not something most people want to read about. I think that I am on a quest to find myself again... as she seems to have gotten lost somewhere between the ages of 18 and 31. That isn't to say that I don't have an identity...or that I don't exist - it's just that I've done so much molding of myself to fit the needs and wants of others that I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore. Am I Jocelyn's mom? Am I Josh's wife? Am I the job seeker, or the one with the new job? Am I the ideal sister, great listener best-friend, or the daughter that my parents expect? Am I all of these things? Am I none of these things?
I don't know where these thoughts came from, honestly. I just woke up one day and looked in the mirror and couldn't figure out what the heck had happened. Where had I gone? The smile and laugh lines are gone, replaced by the under-eye bags of a person who can't sleep. My to-do list seems a mile long, and then I look around and realize that it's because no one else has a list... it's just me.
So I'm starting off small. I got a new job (YAY!) which opens a lot of doors and possibilities that didn't exist a week ago. I spend at least an hour a day doing something that I WANT to do, rather than what I need to do or something I've always done. And I told my hubby to look out, because Football season is starting, and I plan to enjoy some games this year! I know, not a HUGE change in store, but to be honest, I'm not sure how HUGE changes would suit me at this point. As I get further on in this quest for self, I'm sure some more changes are in the plans, both big and small ones. My only wish is that in the end, I'm happy with the results.
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