Strange Dreams....

I have been plagued by some weird dreams lately. They aren't scary...they don't classify as nightmares. I don't know quite how to define them.

In one, I was walking down the streets of New York City... a place I've never been, and while walking through Times Square I looked around and realized that everyone around me was an alien... you know, the green kind they show on late night b-flicks with the big heads and giant eyes. I wasn't afraid, they weren't after me or trying to do experiments, they were just wandering around like me- off on their own personal missions. I felt so out of place... so alone.

Last night, I had a dream that I was in Tibet, sitting with the Dalai Lama. He was smiling at me, and we were looking out from this mountain top - and he kept telling me to "be still, be calm". I was so overcome with being on the mountain top, being with this religious icon and the vast view of the world below me that I didn't know how to be still... I couldn't calm myself. " be STILL... be CALM" he said, louder, still smiling and then POOF! He disappeared and I was alone on the mountain.

The common theme here I guess is that I'm alone... by myself. It's strange, because I am surrounded by people in life, my husband and daughter, my sister and her family, my coworkers, and my friends. I realize that there are people everywhere around me, to the point where sometimes I wish I were by myself more often, and then I realize that even when I'm with other people, they have their own needs, their own desires and agendas.. and most times aren't interested in what's going on with me. Even in a sea of people, I'm on an island all by myself.

Growing up I didn't think it was possible to be lonely surrounded by people... but apparently I was wrong.